She called me again at work to come over when I get off. She asked me to pick up a bottle of Wine and asked if I could scrub her back in the bath like I use to. She said she took tomorrow off work and strangely enough tomorrow's my day off anyway. Wow! This sounds like a booty call.
We haven't ML in about 14 months, I know what to do about this, but don't know what to think of it. What phase of MLC is this? I honestly gave up on her and now I think she wants to ML. I'm not ready for another let down, I've gained a incredible sense of independence from her over the last year. I'm sexually excited about the prospect, but don't know if I want to put anything emotional into it for fear of rejections again. How should I approach this?
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Astime....It sounds like she might be seeing that the grass is greener with you? I would keep this up, but I think that your outburst was a much needed boost in your efforts, especially if she has not seen this side of you. I'm talking from an outsider's perspective, and what I see is that she is finally realizing what she is going to lose, a great R with you. Her feeling lonely and thinking about you is good. And her opening up the R talk was also a big step - for her! Use this as positive momentum, and just keep doing what's been working - in small steps. Always small steps.
This is good to hear!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Just an update on the visit to the W. I did pick up her favorite wine on the way over to see her. We talked a while and I played with my S6. I put him to bed while the W was pouring her bath water.
I poured two glasses of wine and walked into the bathroom where my W was bathing. I lit the candle on the sink top and turned off the bathroom lights. I then handed her a glass of wine and she took a sip and set it aside. W gave me the "don't push your luck" look. I laughed and told her to relax. I took the sponge that was in the soap holder and lathered it up with soap. I then started washing her back with gentle strokes. A couple of times I wrapped her hair in my hand and tugged on it gently while moving it away from her back. I could tell she was enjoying it and was very relaxed at that point. At one point, I bent over the edge of the bath to kiss her. She was anticipating a long slow kiss, but I teasingly pulled back after a short kiss and smiled at her. She lustily grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me back towards her and laid the most passionate kiss on me that I've had from her in over a year. After her bath, I wrapped her in a warm towel that I had pulled from the dryer and gave her a long hug.
I imagined and even felt things starting to progress towards ML, but I still couldn't fully bust through that wall, we didn't ML and I didn't pressure her. I did make an impression however and can sense it in her actions and words over the past couple of days. I can feel her attraction towards me and I have not felt that in a long time. I've been playing it very cool, still in detached mood and letting her come to me.
I'm not going to place high expectations on this one event, but I can say that it felt "new" again between us. A very exciting feeling! I do think my outburst had something to do with her sudden interest. I think she finally realized that I was done and was moving on without her. I don't know where this is going to go, but I can say she is definitely taking a second look at her decision.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Yes, there's been a huge change of events over the past week in my situation, but I'm still playing it cautiously. BTW, this Christmas will mark the one year anniversary of our separation.
We are absolutely going to get together here real soon. I'm taking some time off work towards the end of this month and will be moving to a new shift in January. This shift I've been on the last 12 weeks isn't very conducive to a social life, so I'm looking forward to the change. I will be getting together with friends and family allot over the next couple of weeks.
A. The circus was awesome and the boys loved it. They had this motorcycles in a cage stunt that was just unbelievable. How they didn't wreck into each other is beyond me. They had to have that timing down perfectly.
B. We'll get together here within the next week or two.
I do have to get caught up on your situation. Even if I don't always respond, I do try and keep up with everyone's situation.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
It is pretty f-ed up right now. I guess all I have to go on right now is time. Hell the W is trying to Push for a D now and pretty much acts like she hates me but that is basically because I am not backing down from her and giving her everything she wants anymore. Oh Well what is one to do....
Take care brother
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
W just called and wants me to stop by on my way home from work. Says my S6 wants to see me but he goes to bed in about a half hour. Says I'm welcome to spend the night if I want (GASP! What?).
<Devilish look>... What's this all about? This is the 3rd time she's called me today. I just have this feeling that the sparks are going to be flying here very soon, my imagination is exploding with sensual images. I don't think she could physically handle what my imagination is cooking up. Maybe I should take a cold shower before going over. It's been so long and this is just to weird to understand.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I wanted to give an update on last night. We didn't ML, but it was a very warm and soft exchange between my W and I. We put the boys to bed and talked at the Kitchen table for several hours. We joked, laughed, teased each other a bit, and talked about our R. It wasn't "you did this or you did that" talk from her I'm use to, but rather conciliatory on her end. I can see the exhaustion and stress on her face. I have to say, she looks like she aged several years just over the last year. She's gained a little weight and it doesn't look like she's getting much sleep. I really think she's crashing/drowning and trying to find something to grab onto before sinking.
Strangely, after all she's done and said to me over the past year, I couldn't feel anything but sorrow and compassion for her. No more anger, no more anxiety, no more expectations, and no more waiting or wanting. I've never been so relaxed in the past year as I am now. I let her know that I'm OK and that if she needed to grab onto something, I was a steady object. I gave her a long hug before leaving and she had tears in her eyes. Before I got into my car to leave, I smiled and winked at her while she was looking out the door. I saw her crack a smile and blow me a kiss good-bye.
I really don't know what the future holds and I'm not anxious about it anymore. I'll embrace and enjoy life's pleasures when and where I can. Last night was pleasurable.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
