I've realized something new but old....

[itsy]

Just journaling again,, and questioning things again...

I was on the BB last night somewhere I don't remember where but the people were talking about how much the MLCer changes.
From what they used to be like before thay became aliens. Someone said that the more they change the more they will go thru the MLC and come out. I would really like to know more about this idea. Because mine has changed to the point that he no longer uses his name but a abbreviation of his name. Plus other things like carrying a wallet, he never did before. He wears a leather coat now he never ever said or wanted one. I asked every Christmas if he wanted one and it was always no. How he treats our 2 sons and our daughter so differnet. How he is so obsessed about death and dying. That he goes to funerals all the time. I know why he does it but before he wasn't like that in any way. He is obsessed with his health whereas before he was over weight and not very athletic. He is more actively involved with his biological family then with his own family, like his children. His biological family is very dysfunctional and toxic. And he is closer to them then his own children. And if they say that it begins in their childhood why is he so close to these people again? Why is that? He has done a 180 turn around about himself. Has anyone heard about this before? It was a new concept that I had not heard of before.

Plus, when they are going through the MLC and they begin to see their issues and problems that occured in their early years as children do they change? Do they face the issues and find the answers that they have been searching for in the MLC? My H has a really big problem about abandonement. Also how his parents never allowed him to have feelings They laughed at him when he spoke about the issues he has been stuffing down for years. He doesn't remember this which is good. Aren't they suppose to go thru their problems and issues and face them to finally go thru the tunnel? Do they change the way they used to be? In other words my H has never really had any respect for women. It comes from his mom and how he was brought up by her,as well as his father having no respect at all for women, will he see this and change? That he is looking for someone to love him, whereas he really just needs to love himself. I finally realized this over the past two years and wonder if he is able to fix it? Why I am asking is that the T today said that if he had a problem about respecting women before that he will still have the same problem when he wakes up. That he will need therapy for it. The reason for all this is that I have finally realized what he was and this part of him I don't like. That he has some personality characteristics that are not good and I am finally facing them. I guess I won't really know until he wakes up and walks out.

I guess that I have some really heavy questions...
Other than that I am doing okay today. Packing up this house is kicking me in the butt, however I have no choice but to get it done by next week!!!!!!! Christmas is approaching and I am dealing again with a year of not having H around at this time of year. I don't do well with the holidays I guess most of us don't. I will keep posting my thoughts and questions so please give a reply if you can... thank you ITSY