Itsy, I'm glad you decided to post again. This is really hard to get through and it takes a long time. There just isn't any way but through it. There is a thread on this board now from Survival Goddess that has some ideas about how to take are of yourself so take a look at that, she came a long long way.
I also know what you mean, meds don't always completely cover the territory. My therapist encouraged me to take one tiny step at a time to invest in the future, just little activities, maybe planning one a week in advance,to provide structure and something to look forward to.
Itsy, there are some people around who have been suicidal and come back from the edge. Including me. The best advice I ever got was from a neighbor and friend who has a spinal injury, a former athlete and now a psychiatric nurse who said can you know that you will feel better? That you will have good days and bad. But it will get better over time. And she was right. But she also has good days and bad ones, her injury was physical and ours is emotional but her point is we are not victims, we are people. Just my thoughts tonight. Wonder
