I've realized something new but old....

[itsy]

Thank you all for answering my post. I really appreciate it.
Yes I know that being so forgetful is depression. But they are in their little orbits of self indulgence and we are left out in the cold. Which is fine. I don't want to know what he does. I would be crazy.

Since I've realized that he is still having MLC I have regressed.
It's not good. I sat in a chair for two days now. I know in my head it is wrong but I am obsessing again. I need to quit and get on with a life. I wish that I never reealized what was going on. It gets me to thinking again and I don't need that. I was doing so great and now I have spoken to people about him again. I'm on this BB again. This is not good. I got through so much alone and with my Mom and now I don't like myself for what I am doing. I'm thinking again and I don't want to think about it again. I don't want the feelings to come back. I don't want the depression. I don't want to obsess. I need to move on I need to go on alone. I know that I will be alright but something in me still says maybe.......this is not good. My therapist does not want to work on what I have been thru. She dismisses what I have been thru. Its' over, done.PERIOD. I am thinking of not going back anymore. I'm getting crazy. But i feel a need to talk about it. I want someone to listen to me about what i have going thru for the last two years. I need to get it out. It's anger and sadness at times now and I don't know how to deal with it. I still have hope and it makes me cry because I shouldn't have it. He will never come back. I know should he wake up that he would never come back and say that he was sorry and let's try again. He will never be able to come back on his own. He just won't do it.

I will read responses to this thread and get off this site again. It does not help me. I obsess to much and I get stuck and I don't move forward and if there is one thing that I am determined to do is get me back. I can't come here after this post except to read responses.
Thank you if you respond....ITSY