I believe that their not remembering all the cruel and angry and hurtfull things they have done is a coping mechanism and protects them from the hurt they would feel if all that stuff came down on them at once. Call it what you like, but some of the MLCer's on here could never ever face all the things they have done if they came pouring in on them all at once.
As far as them entering the house when you have said not to: they feel it as an entitlement. Even thought it is now you home, because he still if part owner, he feels that entitlement. I consulted with an attorney and upon his adivce, changed the locks on the house. My H went so far as to come into the house and answer my phone calls when he was there and also deleted any messages that might have been on the answering machine. Of course, he never let me know who had called or what my messages were.
You are doing very well with all you are having to deal with right now. I only hope I am as strong if we have to go to court about the house. H is so far in debt that it is ridiculous and I refuse to lose the house for which I paid my 1/2 in cash 20 years ago and he has yet to finish paying his 1/2 of the house. We set it up that way so we could each leave 1/2 of the house to our kids==all from a previous marriage.
I guess I am to the point you are at where all I want is to get it settled and move forward with my life. Time's a wasting as far as I am concerned. I love him with all my heart, but he shows no signs of wanting to coming back.
