I am on for the moment, as I find your Christmas wishes as I was about to sign off. Don't over do with the reflections, I think it may be a normal phase we all step through this far down the road. I had mentioned to Paul, but also a few others recently (like Lib, Cathy Hopeful) that I think I was doing better 2 years ago, than I had for the last year to year and a half.... Looking back, I now realize my chin was scraping the floor for some time, but I just didn't know how to break out, or that nothing I had tried could lift my spirits for long. I'm beginning to think it may be a natural passage for most of us to make... well, those of us that completely disconnect from our former spouses, that is.
As Snodderly used to say to me, allow your emotions to flow over you. Don't try to fight with what you are feeling, but go with the general direction. I do know the more I fought with them, the worse things began to feel, instead of being able to change my feelings.
It probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense... maybe in a day or two, I'll be able to explain myself better. Until then, don't worry too much about being down, but DO give yourself the finest TLC you can give (to yourself).
Hope you are able to regain the spirit of the season, and fine warmth and love surrounding you. You are in my thoughts and prayers... take care, and God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
Thanks for the kind words of wisdom. I am aware that it might be easy to go down the path of wallowing in the muck and mire again but I don't even want to get started...
It makes perfect sense to me not to fight it. In my last go round I realized I was wishing so hard for some peace in my life that it was the last thing I received. Another lesson in letting go.
I'm really fine but this is just another one of those "firsts" like..."oh yeah, I'm D'd now"...and the thoughts that follow. It still has that surreal and unbelievable feeling.
My SIL managed to stir up a some memories about my mom's death also. Both our mother's died at about the same age (early forties) and she has had a terrible year dealing with "attaining the age at which your mother passed." I try not to focus on that and I told her such. I was going to mention to her that XH's departure was probably a hundred times worse and more on "the top" of my mind, but I know she would never comprehend that in a million years. So, I let it go and tried to be validating about her issues.
Quote: In my last go round I realized I was wishing so hard for some peace in my life that it was the last thing I received. Another lesson in letting go.
Bingo! This and patience.... two very hard lessons to grasp and learn, but once understood, I think peace isn't too far behind. Both lead to learning to let go, allowing God or those in our lives, make their own choices, which leave you and I just living our lives or at least making the best of what is going on.
Yes, certainly you are D'd now, but you did the best you could to alter that direction, but had no control of the results. You did all that you could, and should be very proud of your efforts... You did all you could, now welcome the rest of your life in, one moment, one day at a time. You are not alone, you never will be.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
I just read your mail delivery story and it reminded me of two little kindnesses I had this week. I'd like to report a little positivity also.
Tuesday was the pool gal Christmas get together. There was a guy there that XH and I knew from 8-9 years ago that I just ran into a couple of times lately after all that time (horrific sentence, I know ). He was looking me over (not in a creepy way) and he said, "I don't know what you're doing now, but you look GREAT!" I jokingly said, "Thanks, but what do you mean NOW?" He said "Well, I haven't seen you for a long time...er, and not that you didn't look good then..." (he knows about the D). I just laughed and said "I know what you mean, I'm just kidding and thanks, I really appreciate that." He then reitterated how great I look. If anybody says I look better than 8-9 years ago, I'll take it!
On Thursday, we had a yucky freezing rain/snow storm. My boss was out looking for new buildings and he called to talk to me. He said, "If you leave now, you might be able to get home before dark." I was flabergasted that he would let me leave 2+ hours early. I made it home after almost 2 hours and had enough time to shovel before dark as well. I told him I really appreciated him letting me leave and he said, "We take care of our own." That really made me feel like I belong there. He also let the guy in the competing co. go home and one of our girls would watch the phone for him. Nice guy.
Merry Christmas Glorious G! My computer is still on the fritz and I don't have much patience with it lately. Just wanted to say HI. The girls are in KC 'til Tuesday, so, Christmas is a little quieter than normal around here. Take care. B
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
I hope that your day is a happy one and new memories are made. May the new year be a brighter and more promising one for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
How are you? I'm lookign forward to 2007!! Passing up the big party tonight to go to the movies and dinner with the kids. I'm de-stressing and simplifying my life this year!!
Thanks.
). He was looking me over (not in a creepy way) and he said, "I don't know what you're doing now, but you look GREAT!" I jokingly said, "Thanks, but what do you mean NOW?" He said "Well, I haven't seen you for a long time...er, and not that you didn't look good then..." (he knows about the D). I just laughed and said "I know what you mean, I'm just kidding and thanks, I really appreciate that." He then reitterated how great I look. 
If anybody says I look better than 8-9 years ago, I'll take it! 
