This past week was very busy with last minute Christmas prepartions, party with the pool league gals and struggling through a winter storm.
My brother and his family visited yesterday and we had a nice meal together. I just have a little vent about something...that's been going on for years. It's not a DB situation, but here it is. My bro and dad don't have the best R. It's not hateful but neither of them (particularly my bro) make much of an effort to have a R at all. I let go of trying to be the middle man years ago for obvious reasons. Anyway, my dad called and talked to my bro which I knew he had planned. My dad mentioned a few things about his "tests" this spring and did not elaborate and my bro did not ask him about it further. So, as soon as my bro got off the phone he quizzed me about it and I was left to explain the whole cancer situation and subsequent dealings with it in front of SIL and the kids (they are 20 and 15 so that wasn't the issure, really).
I was a little PO'ed at my dad for leaving me in that situation and for SIL putting in her usual .02 worth of judgements and preconceived notions about my dad.
This is the third year since XH's absense and oddly, I'm a little more down than last year. In '04 it was just a big blur and frankly I don't even remember what I did. I think I just hung out. I know I put a card for H in "his" mailbox and he called to say Merry Christmas. Last year, there was nothing from him but I felt quite up. Perhaps it was because the initial shock was over and he hadn't filed yet and we were not D'd. I probably still had a sliver of hope. This is my first year being D'd at Christmas and it has caught me a little off guard. Maybe I shouldn't have watched "Terms of Endearment" this morning.
I rarely have this down time where I have nothing "I have to get done" or where I'm not out doing something for fun or purpose. I think I will use this time to pause and reflect.
