Another newbie? No, it's me LR or lastresort04. I thought it was a good time to change my name with the new year around the corner...and this sounds better, anyway. Symbolically, my "identity" is no longer so intertwined with my "sitch", so I felt inclined to change my name to something more authentic for the times.

As you may recall, I was last reacting to the news of XH and Sweet Pea's cameo appearances at a local spot in my neighborhood. Yes, reacting. That prompted me to feel like I needed to take some action to rid him from my life, like I am able to do that anyway. I decided against writing a letter OR sending him his stuff. No sense in upsetting the apple cart, right? If something needs to happen, the "wheres" and "whens" will be abundantly clear to me.

As usual, a time of upheaval, however small these days, is followed by a period of peace and renewed strength. It's nice to know you can count on something.

I've spent the past few weeks getting things in order as far as my life is concerned. I'm actually in a pretty good spot considering the last couple of years. The thing I have neglected the most since the bomb is my own physical health, which with the grace of God is very good. It took the back burner while I was working on the home, job and wasting a bunch of emotional energy on XH. I recently had all of that evaluated and found that I'm very lucky to only have the "basics" to worry about. Things like getting enough sleep, eating right and exercising. BTW, I have no problem pampering myself lately.

My job is still going very well and I'm happy to be there.

My dad is doing well and is in good spirits.

I recently visited both of my Grandma's and an aunt. It was nice to connect with them again. There is something worth noting to me when I visited one grandma in particular. This is the grandma that had me and XH's wedding picture still up. The last time I saw my grandma's, one had the picture up and one had it face down in the bottom of a drawer. My grandma's are like night and day. Anyway, when I saw the picture this time, I just noted it with nostalgia and didn't feel anything negative or give it a lot of thought. My heart just kind of went, "Oh, how sweet", with no pain or anger. That was nice.

When I was last actively on the BB I reread the thread regarding recommended reading materials. There's a lot of good stuff on page 2 in particular. This prompted me to order a few more books. I read the one entitled "Understanding the Mid-Life Crisis" by Peter O'Conner. This book is much more thorough than Men In MidLife Crisis and I highly recommend it. There is also much more perspective from the MLCer POV and more detailed descriptions of the actual emotional and psychological aspects of MLC. Reading it gave me a lot a peace in an odd way. It reads like XH's biography. He fits the pattern of the most hopeless and most challenged type of MLCer in the book but that gave me a bit of acceptance that maybe that's just the way he is and was meant to be. I guess it lent credibility to the idea that there is nothing I could have done differently and it would have happened whether I was there or not. I thought the authors thoughts on projection and externalization were very apt and interesting.

I am enjoying pool league immensely and we are in first place so far...by a very narrow margin.

Although I'm lonely sometimes, I am starting to really revel in the fact that I can do whatever I want, when I want. Some people actually envy that. It's an almost giddy feeling sometimes.

I have most of my Christmas shopping done and will decorate tomorrow. I have a boat load of stuff to do, so I should quit rambling soon. I'm attending a Christmas party for my colletor's club on Sunday, so I need to bake something as well. Then I have to clean out my closet for a pick up by a charity organization.

I do have some exciting news! A couple of weeks ago I decided to apply for my passport as a "first step" in getting some travel plans. I thought, "well, at least I'll have that out of the way if something comes up." I was telling my best friend about it and said that I wanted to go to Mexico someday. I jokingly said, "I should be able to get there in ten years (before it expires)." She then mentioned that her mom and some other people were going and that her mom was getting a passport too. Hmmm...

Well, whaddya know, about a week later (yesterday) her mom called me and said she needs a traveling companion and asked me if I wanted to go. I said "He!!, yeah!" (well, not exactly).

So, to make a long story short...in a couple of months, I'll be heading off to balmy Cozumel for a week long, all inclusive stay at a choice resort! SWEET! Now, all I have to do is come up with some dough. I can make it happen. I asked my boss for the days off today...and ironically I have just enough vacation time to do it. It just kinda fell in my lap. Hmmmm

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Life is good...or it can be...if you let it be...

Hugs, GG