So remember that summer that I thought h was reconnecting. His fog was lifting. Everything was slowly falling into place. D8 got a new principal at school, one I am sort of related to. Well he got h doing some carpentry and I no longer had to do bingo for participation hours. Wel it was just icing on the cake. It was two years since I started bingo and h had moved out just one month before. D8 had not even started school yet. So after a year and a half I know it has been a struggle for h to go and do more work. So I have to go back and do bingo. I know no big deal. But it seems I am back at the beginning of this whole thing. Not emotionally but it feels so weird. H is no futher ahead in his crises and I as usual I have to pick up the pieces.
I was diplomatic with h though. I told him he would have to take the ds on those days. When he asked why I had to do bingo I said it was because "we" did not have enough participation hours. I did not blame him. (even though it is his fault).
So I feel like I must have missed something along the way. Some lesson I failed to see. I going to keep my eyes wide open.
Yes I hate doing bingo and so in the fall I will do supervision instead. Then h cannot let me down again. I am in control.
