Thank you for stopping by my curb. I hope you all had wonderful Christmases. It is almost the new year and I plan to make it a great one. No more pity parties.
BTW GG I am getting a massage on Saturday. My girls are going to see Beauty and the Beast and then out for dinner with my sister, bil and neice.
So now here is my dilemma. I have been dark on h so much that I leave the room when he comes to get the girls or drop them off. But I think this is affecting d4. Her behaviour has been a bit over the top lately. Today she did not want to go with h. She wanted me to go too. I hate how selfish he has become.
I try to be in the same room with him now but I can't talk to him. The thought of him just repulses me. I am not sure why I feel like this. I mean I know it is understandable but I am usually not like this. I have not respect left for him and no feelings. Well maybe a little hate, which I know is not good. Maybe I am just working through my feelings and trying to figure them out but for now I just can't bring myself to even be cordial.
I just don't want to hurt d4. We have been spending some good quality time together this week as I have been off. I really hope that helps. But I do fear that she will grow up insecure. I just can't imagine how she will feel when she is older and she realizes h left when she was only 1 year old. As usual I will have to pick up the pieces. She is so wonderful and so full of love and life I just don't want this to affect her.
Also lately it seems h is favouring d8. He never favoured either child before and it is not really blatant but it is there.
Anyway thanks for letting me vent.
I do hope you all have a wonderful new year. Let us make it a good new year for all of us. Full of positive change and moving forward with our lives.
