Thank you for coming by and checking on me. It has been a fun and busy Christmas. D8 had her school Christmas concert, I went in the afternoon so h could go in the evening. I thought this might give him "permission" to bring ow but he did not. It would have been a little foolish since the concert was in the church we got married in. I asked h by email if he wanted me to feed the ds before the concert and he said no but thanked me for the offer.
H has been trying to be nice whenever he gets the oppurtunity. Either by email or a little in person if he ever catches me in the same room. It is almost like he is dbing me. He validates and thanks me whenever he gets the oppurtunity. But the more time that passes the less I feel attracted to him and really understand how bad he has treated me and how much better I deserve.
I know that I have to accept the end of my m for me to have a new life but where my new life will take me I am not sure. So I am being still and waiting for the answer.
I was perfectly happy and detached over Christmas. I was very busy. We had dinner spread over about three days for various reasons and I find that I do not miss h at all anymore like I used to.
But of course he did get to me. First when I found out they were going to his uncle's for Christmas. It still hurts that ow is in my place. Usually Christmas dinner is just at his mom's . The other thing is when I found out that h bought the ds gifts from Santa at his house. How dumb that they recieved Santa gifts at both homes. The other thing is h and I always agreed that the ds would only get one gift from Santa because they get so much other stuff.
So I when I heard that I just walked out of the room. H was going on to me about something but I just kept walking. He got the hint and then just left.
I do realize now that I should have spelled it all out to him. I did not tell him what I did not communicate much of anything to him because I wanted him to feel left out. I tried to take matters into my own hands not to mention he is not playing with full deck and therefore I should have remembered that.
Anyway I am off this week. I got two spa gift certificates so I may just use one this week. I hope to have some fun with the ds this week as well. Something low key. This morning we played their new board games.
I hope you all had a really good Christmas and now it is time to look forward to a prosperous new year.
