Quote: I took those scraps for years and this is when he was supposedly healthy...I am wondering why I want this man in my life. He was not a great husband. He had some really great moments but there was so many times he was not there for me. I have been feeling more and more like I dont want or need him back in my life.
I can really relate to these sentiments. I spent YEARS hoping that my H would change, and he did--he became even MORE self-centred!! I wouldn't have thought that possible.
Strangely, I wasn't happy when he left, as I had thought I would be; instead, I was devastated. I think that, in large part, it's the death of the dream that we all have when we get married, that dream of a strong, supportive, fulfilling marriage. While we are still with our partners, we can imagine that it COULD one day happen. Of course, depending on your S, the chances may be very slim. But still, it's a possibility. When he leaves, it's no longer even that. For me, that has been the hardest thing to accept. On the other hand, once our eyes have been opened, we do have a new chance at real happiness by letting go of a marriage that never really existed.
At this point, I don't think it's possible to know if you will have that marriage with your H. If not, then I am sure that you will find it with someone else.
~Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
