Quote: I guess what it comes down to is that if a person is feeling taken advantage of and abused for doing "loving" things for his/her S, then he/she should stop doing those things.
It is the emotional effect that is the line here rather than the effect on the sitch.
So I guess it comes down to making yourself happy, that is what is best for the sitch. If one feels disrespected he/she must either choose to ignore it, and live with it, or draw firm boundaries for the other party and live with those consequences/benefits. Does that make sense?
To me, this is entirely about taking responsibility for one's feelings, be they positive or negative. I think that boundaries are not so much for keeping others from taking advantage of you, rather they are for keeping this responsibility (for our internal states) within oneself. Not setting boundaries for the sake of dictating what we'll allow others to do, rather defining how we'll treat ourselves and what options for our internal state we'll avail ourselves of.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
