I guess what it comes down to is that if a person is feeling taken advantage of and abused for doing "loving" things for his/her S, then he/she should stop doing those things. It is the emotional effect that is the line here rather than the effect on the sitch. But, of course, if a person is feeling angry and unappreciated then that will certainly flow into whatever actions are taken in the sitch. So I guess it comes down to making yourself happy, that is what is best for the sitch. If one feels disrespected he/she must either choose to ignore it, and live with it, or draw firm boundaries for the other party and live with those consequences/benefits. Does that make sense?
