Don't be more in the R than they are?

[toughlover]

I'm not willing to sacrifice my dignity or happiness to appease her in order to buy her back.

That's the line, isn't it?

My way of summing all this stuff up is that a healthy marriage is one in which two individuals choose to love each other our of their strength. Not "complete" each other (romantic drivel) but complement each other.

In order to do that the two have to be strong individuals first. So if one of you is strong enough, but the other has problems, you have to do what I quoted, but also encourage them to solve their problems the way you would for any friend of either sex.

I think the reason you struggle is because you feel responsible for the entire relationship and for her well-being, and marriage is a covenant of mutual acceptance of responsibility, but if one spouse rejects your fulfillment of that responsibility, doesn't it follow that you still have to uphold your obligations but aren't obligated to appease her just so she'll remain in your presence and throw you a bone occasionally?