Hi BJE, I found your thread that HB mentioned me on, I was curious about that. I wanted to comment on your sit, the title of your post. My H did mention D, checked it out online and got some information, like our sons (14 and 17) are old enough to decide who they want to live with. Can you imagine making kids choose between their parents??? Well since then he HAS changed his mind and is here trying to make this better with me. He never left, I told him he'd have to if he didn't want to be M to me. There was no affair, fortunately. Just a "friend" that happened to come along at the time his head was up his A$$, and he swears up and down there was never anything more on either side. She has had a rough time with her husband dying of cancer and an ex-boyfriend stalking and terrorizing her and her daughter, and I wonder (hope) that maybe she feels "safe" being friends with my H because he is M and therefore not trying to pursue her. I don't know. What I do know is that my H is much, much more loving and at peace than he was back between Feb 21st- May 6th when he asked me to come home from my friends house where I went to give us both space. I asked him recently if he was just sticking around until youngest son is grown (18 in 4 more years) and he said that no he was not. I have applied DB techniques 24/7 and I know this is for life, not just until he re-commits again. I haven't heard any ILY's since Feb before "bomb". He has responded to these changes I've made, basically I've become the wife I should have been all along. All he wanted was the woman he fell in love with. that's all men want I think. So anyway, yes, some do change their minds and since your H wants you to file for D, don't do it because it is NOT what you want. OW will get tired of him being married and will look at him as a dead end street I think and then they'll start fighting and arguing and he won't want her anymore. At least I hope that's how it goes for you. Take care, Lisa
