The short answer to you subject question.... Yes, he probably (in his current state of confusion/delusion) means it. At least he thinks he means it.
Second the answer to the first major question in your post...
Quote: (Have) any of you here who are working at putting marriage back together ever had your spouse in the beginning of this nightmare or whatever tell you they planned on getting a divorce?
Yeah, sure. For me, three days after the bomb... First is was "I want a separation", then a few days later, "I want a divorce". Then, although she never moved out, months of living as if she was single and unattached. The, 9 months later, hires lawyer, says he will contact me to "begin negotiations" to end the marriage.
Then for the past year, working on putting it all back together, including her ending it with OM, entering couples therapy with me, and slowly drawing back together. It doesn't work this way all the time, and this one is not over, but divorce is off the table.
Sounds like you don't want a divorce. Sounds like he's not going to initiate it. So, end of story. If it requires you to initiate, and you won't, time is on your side... Now, the important thing it to detach yourself from his drama and get on with your life best as you can for now, for as long as you can stand it, and see what happens.
Sorry there isn't more to say. It really isn't ever over until you choose. You have a great deal of power. He can't run your life, can't tell you how to live your life. But, you can't run or live his either.
