But you know what Ben....I have tip toed around this issue so much. It seemed to give the guy some explanation as to why whatever happened, happened. I don't know that it will even come up with J and the admin. All of the nursing staff there know that something is going on with the two of them. It could very easily have come from one of them throughout this investigation that they are doing on him.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I know I am just trying to warn you that nothing good for you can come out of this. I hope that the admin does not say that he talked to you about it or you are in for a fight with him. But you already know that. Just trying to look out for your best interest here and that is saving your marriage. Anyway it is in the past.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
I have been in a fight for my M since the day I found out about the A.
I may try to call J to see if the admin got a hold of him. Maybe when he comes over tonight, if he still does, then he will tell me what is going on. I am not going to push the issue. I will just let him know that I spoke with the admin for a few minutes and that he was asking me some personal questions.
I know that you are just trying to help. That is all anyone is trying to do. But I am going with my heart in all of this. I did alot of praying about this whole admin situation last night before I had even talked to the admin. I knew in my heart that J was not telling me the truth about what was going on. I was going to call him this morning to see if he had gotten in contact with J. But the issue presented itself to me this morning when he called and talked to me. There have been times when I have said things and it really isn't me saying them. They just come out of my mouth. Nothing meant to harm anyone but they are things that have come from alot of praying. You may scoff at that, but it happens. It was if I couldn't control what was being said or how it was being said. I said nothing to destroy J's reputation even though he is doing quite nicely on that himself.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I would never scoff you. J is doing well himself and it will mean a lot more if you let him destroy his own rep. Might sound cold but this is somthing that IMHO think he needs to go through for himself. I know you have been fighting for your M as well as I but the thing is that the only one we can control is ourselves. Anything we do to try and turn them seems to push them further away. They have to make that turn for themselves. All we can do is wait and see if it will happen.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
You will be happy to know that I finally got DR in the mail last night. I will begin reading it tonight along with my many prayers that I have been saying nightly.
It will feel great when he does make that turn and it isn't from anything that I have done to provoke it. Maybe that is just wishful thinking but I know that he will come around. It is just waiting for him to completely hit rock bottom and realize that he CAN come home to the family that has been here supporting him through all of this. My only fear is that he will be too proud or too embarrassed to come home. I have a feeling that things with them are starting to crumble and that he will be living in his car before too long.....
When he came back the first time, he said that he saw himself in the morgue by the time he was 30...how sad is that. I also think he is starting to clutch the bottle tightly to try to forget things or to deal with them. (alcohol)
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Well, that is good to hear. At least he is doing that with you but he has come over many times with Alcohol on his breath. I never say anything to him about it. I know that I can't control that either but sometimes I wonder how drunk he is going to get himself one of these days. Seeing that he has already gone through 2 suicidal episodes.
I pray that he doesn't end up driving you off. He doesn't see how much of an asset he has in you as a friend. He made a comment about being with you around the holidays so that you wouldn't get too down in the dumps. It made me wonder if he ever thought about that with me. Is he even concerned how I have been feeling about the holidays? Just my selfishness wanting him to see that the emotions you are going through are the same ones that I am going through.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
You know we are like brothers. We look out for each others best interest. However, we also do not butt in when the other wants to stay quite. That being said, we never talk about his R issues anymore because everytime I asked he just said he does not know what is going on and that I would be the first to know once he does. So I quit talking about it and we pretty much just hang out now.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Well hanging out may be what he needs right now. That is the only sense of normalsy (don't know if that is a word) that he has in his life at this point.
I did tell him about going to Las Vegas in Jan and San Antonio in Feb. He looked at me as though a little jealous. I looked at him and said 'you could have gone. All we had to do is take care of your plane ticket.' He said 'I know'. It is going to be those trips and the trips to his mom's house in NC that get to him as well.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Everything is getting to him right now. He is confused and really does not know what he wants. That is why I tried to talk him into staying with me and avoiding both of you for a little bit just so he could figure out what he wanted in life. Not that I wanted him to leave you but being around the OW just clouds his mind even more. He knows where I stand and he knows that I do not agree with what he is doing. He also knows that I am not his mother and I can not make descisions for him. As well as he knows that I will be there for him through thick and thin. He has saved my a$$ from suicide as well as lifted me up when I needed it. I owe him more than I could possibly repay in a life time.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
