By the way. I have heard a lot of good things about going to MC by yourself. Money is obviously an issue in my sitch, which you are well aware of , so I have not been able to go.
Just continue to focus on yourself and stay away from the R talks. He is noticing the changes...TRUST ME...
Later, O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Ok I trust you......I am continuing the 'ME' work and keeping myself in a positive mind frame.
Between all of us, I actually went and opened a checking account with just my name on it so that I could transfer money out of our joint into my individual one. I just want to make sure that i am covered and will be able to pay all of the household bills. I can't take the chance of him having an even bigger brain fart and wiping out the account. I don't think he would do that, but I also didn't think that he would ever be doing what he is doing. When I opened the individual account, there was a weight taken off of my shoulders. It isn't that I feel good that I am on my own, it is just the fact that I actually feel like the control is now in my hands and not in his.
OSU, please don't share this info as you know who I am now.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
"What happens in Vegas Stays In Vegas" Not to mention you know that I am on your side here.
By the way. I did the same thing by opening up an account in my name. I am sure glad that I did because my phsyco wife drove the joint account neg 400 bones. Now she will not even be able to get an account until that is reconciled.
You can never be too safe. They are all crazy right now.
Later, O
By the way, I am glad that you took my advice and checked this site out. It has been a life saver for me. I just hope it helps you out as well.
Last piece of encouragement.
Just remember God does not want any of us to D and that he will do what is in his power to lead us on the right path.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
The funny thing is that OSU is best friends with my H. We are going through the same torture with our spouses.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
I am ok....As it gets closer to Christmas, I am feeling the need to shake the crap out of H. I would love to know what the heck is going on in his thick skull.
I know that I am not going to say anything to him about what my plans are for Christmas. If he really wants to spend that day with us, then he needs to get some 'kahunas' and ask. I know that when I tell him that I am heading down to Z-town to see his family, he is going to start to feel a little left out.
I pray that he doesn't try to call his mom on Christmas. She has emailed me and pretty much disowned him. She said that she never bore a son and if something were to happen to her, then he is not welcome at her funeral. That is going to be something to either send him into a deep depression or shake him enough to make him realize that what he has at home is far greater than what he is messed up in right now.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Quote: I am feeling the need to shake the crap out of H. I would love to know what the heck is going on in his thick skull.
I feel the same way about my W.
Quote: I know that I am not going to say anything to him about what my plans are for Christmas.
You might just want to say what your plans are and leave it at that. If he shows up great if not, It is his loss.
As far as the mother thing. I would stay the hell away from that. There is nothing good that can come out of it. Not to mention Blood is always thicker than water. My W's family (except MIL) acted the same way at first and basically told her that she was not welcome down there anymore. I had to go down there and tell them that I did nothink it was right that they are treating her like this. She is and always will be a part of their family.
How are the kids doing? They getting excited?
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Ben, you know his mom.....if not, take my strong will and add to it an unforgiving heart and that is her. She is a strong African American woman who is fed up with her son's stupid attack. I am not going to say anything to him about her but he will find out if and when he tries to call her. I won't have to say a word because she will do all the talking or yelling. H knows that he married someone just like his mom except where she is unforgiving and bottles things up, I am forgiving and try to deal with my issues as soon as they hit me. I am not one to bottle things up. My philosophy is to say it and be done with it. That is where H and I differ.
The kids are doing good. Q is so excited but the other two don't really comprehend what is going on. I know that A will love to just rip up the paper, she always does.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
Yea I know his mom. She is as stuburn and hard headed as I am. The problem is that she still veiws family values as one of the most important things. Her anger will fade and she will forgive him.
Glad to see the kids are alright and excited.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
, so I have not been able to go.