Well, i just got a call from the H telling me that he was on his way to the bank to deposit his check. This is how the convo went.
Me: hello H: Hey, did it have to be at the bank by 2:30? M: it has to be posted by 3pm H: ok, i will be there in a few minutes M: Ok, is that all? H: yeah, i guess so M: So where do we go from here H: (SILENCE) M: if you don't want to talk to me, then just say so H: it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't want to right now. M: Fine. I am done begging you. It has to be your decision now. I have let you dictate the way that each of my days go. I can't do that anymore. I have gone above and beyond the call of duty here. H: ok M: You know where the house is and you know that the door is open, you just have to make that call. I can't do it anymore. When you are ready to talk, you know where I am. H: ok M: just think about what i said to you last night, alright? H: ok
A little other small talk went on throughout but that was the gist. You know, I feel pretty good. I told him that I am done begging for him to come home. It is in his court now. I have done and said everything that I can. All I can do now is sit back, make changes to me and my family and wait. Like I said before, if God doesn't see him in my future, then so be it. If he were to come back tomorrow a completely changed man, then so be it. I just can't let him dictate who I am going to be and how I spend my days. It was a hard conversation but one that I needed to have.
By the way, his mom emailed me and pretty much said that she no longer has a son. He has made his bed, so now he has to lay in it. She wants nothing to do with him anymore.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
