Well, today was MC and the counselor called him back first. I knew before I even got to the appt that I didn't really have alot to say. I just needed some answers from him. I have talked so much he just wasn't hearing what I had to say. So she pulled me back into the room and I told her that I didn't have too much to say. So she pulled him back in the room and I told him that I needed some answers.
He said that he didn't feel comfortable saying what he needed to say because he wasn't sure how it would be used against him. He said that it he says that he is moving on with his life that I will keep the kids from him. So needless to say he was dropping a bomb on me. So we had a few words there in the therapists office and then she wanted to talk to me by myself. She told me that she agreed with everything that I had said. I had told him that there was no way that he was going to take our kids anywhere near her or that place. (remember her soon-to-be ex is an abuser) He told me that I was being selfish. How dare he?!?!? She just told me that I had been remarkably strong and kind throughout this whole ordeal and she was afraid that I may end up angry and bitter. So we talked for a few and then I left. He had already left and was headed back to her place. I called him and asked him to meet me so that we could talk.
He met me for about an hour and we talked. He says that he didn't know that he was hurting me so badly by filling me full of hope only to crush it. (Can we say denial?) He said that he can only see the mistakes that I have made. I asked him why and he said that he didn't know. I asked him if that was the only way he could justify what he was doing. He said that was probably why. I told him to tell me if he was done. If he is then I will have to deal with it but he will also have to deal with what comes with walking away. I told him that if he lives his life avoiding confrontation then he is going to be running his entire life. I finally ended it asking him if he wanted me to walk away and turn my back and the answer I got was "I don't know." I had just told him not to say anything to me that he didn't mean because I take everything to heart.
So I believe it that those who have A truly are messed up and living in a fantasy world. I just don't know what to do right now. Do I continue to fight the good fight or do I walk away?!?!? I know that he is living with her. I just can't seem to walk away even though I feel like it sometimes.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
