Quote: I guess I am going to have to go back to my initial decision to not call him.
This has been one of my big things too. I make a daily effort to call him only when there is an urgent need...never just to talk (I get myself into trouble when I do that). The same with ILY...if he calls or says, fine, great! Baby steps.
Of course, we all stumble. But we can always pick ourselves up and keep on moving forward. That's what we do have control over.
Quote: I just can't take the fact that he thinks it is ok to continue this A.
I am still struggling with this, though my H's A is apparently over, he is showing NO VISIBLE REMORSE (beyond trying to be a little more helpful with the kids and not traveling so much). In the few conversations we've had about it, I've gathered that there was a lot of confusion, shock and self-loathing going through him.
I've tried to picture it as my relationship with a pan of brownies sitting in the kitchen, calling my name. I can leave it alone for awhile, and then BAM--I'm in there stuffing my face, all the while telling myself I shouldn't...but they're just so good...and I end up hating myself for my weakness. So I have some more, since I've already fallen.
Well, have to go take care of kiddies. (((((Hugs))))) Hang in there.
