Hi, sorry you're dealing with all of this on top of your parental responsibilities--my kids are all about the same age as yours, and this is hard, but you are obviously already ahead of the game. I didn't find DR until about 2 months into my sitch, and it has been invaluable for me.
It sucks, but yep, you may be the only one fighting for your marriage for a good long time. It's not fair, it's not easy, but it IS worth it and you can do it.
Watisis is right--don't believe any of what you hear and less than half of what you see from your H. I read somewhere that once an A ends, there is a "grieving" period for the WAS that lasts anywhere from a few months to a year. Lots of crazy stuff can happen, but know that you are strong, you can adapt and change in positive ways, you can find the patience you will need.
Hang in there. You'll go through a lot, but in the end, one way or another, you have the power to come out ahead.
