Yuck, I did something bad this morning.

[toughlover]

Any advise?

Yeah, but think in terms of a velvet-wrapped 2x4.

Am I being overly sensitive.

Yes and no. This is a big hurt to get over, so I understand about that because I felt just raw and torn open for a while.

But at some point, you just gotta make the decision to quit it, and you and I both know that it's never going to feel natural to quit it, never going to be easy. You're going to have to force yourself (see everyone else's discussions on comfort zones) out of the comfort zone, and right now the comfort zone is, "You did something horrible to me so now you owe me, and I'm going to extract my pound of flesh one way or another." But that trick never works!

I say this as an LBS who was royally screwed over, you have to get yourself to where you give him the gift of cutting him loose from all that and starting over.

Right now when you bring that stuff up, all he hears is fingernails on a chalkboard.

You know, I can't even after almost 2 years, can't go into a jewlry store. It makes me ill. Help, please.

Ok, sweetie, this kind of reminds me of the joke about the guy who walked around hitting himself in the head with the stick. Goes to the doctor complaining of headaches. Doctor's advice, of course, is to QUIT HITTING YOURSELF IN THE HEAD WITH THE STICK! So don't go into jewelry stores right now.

Is this normal?

I'm no pro, but it's exactly what I went through.

Is his response normal?

Again, I'm no pro, but it sounds like what my wife experienced as well. She was accommodating for a while but, hey let's face it, if the relationship were as it should be, you wouldn't be doing that all of the time, and the DB rule is act as if.

I know it sucks, but you got to get all Nike with it: Just Do It.

You can't love someone out of weakness and need. You have to love them out of your strength, and in moments like that, you're not strong. I know exactly how you feel...heck, I'm a guy and I did all that stuff that you're doing.

The thing that I realized was that it doesn't make you feel any better to pry it out of them even if they're willing to let you do that, because then you spend the rest of the day feeling bad that you should HAVE to pry it out of them, then you wonder if they're just saying it to get you off their back, then you wonder...it's a vicious cycle that just repeats itself.