hanging on

[Sherman333]

Joa,

I'll 2nd Doug on this. You are focusing too much on what your husband is doing. Everything I've read is about him.

You need to put your focus on you and the kids. Let him make his own mistakes with his relationships with the kids.

As far a your statement "you will no longer hurt them I'm done being nice and if they don't want to ever see you again then they don't have to..I told him he is constantly telling lies and trying to make everyone feel sorry for him" is a form of emotional blackmail/an attack. I know you're angry with him and he deserves to know how you feel for what he's done, but you providing him with an excuse to behave the way he does (in his mind at least). As long as you keep engaging him like this you keep giving him excuses to make you out as the bad person in the relationship.

From what I've read you don't sound detached. Rather you sound bitter about things and your husband pushes your buttons to get a reaction from you (which you provide).

You are much better off to stay CALM and COLLECTED even in the situations where he's been stupid. You can let him know he's crossed the line without "going after him".