Ford, you are right about my sitch being better than I think. I want things to be fixed right away but I know that they will take time. I just need to take care of myself and my kids and let her do what she needs to do.

I do think that if she were able to be more financially solvent solo that she would not be with me. That is just my opinion. Who knows?

I have been doing some 180's some more significant than others. I have started to take more interest in her opinion of my dress. I used to care less about how I would dress around her. She used to tell me what I looked good in and if I didn't like it I wouldn't wear it. I told her that "I was married and I didn't need to impress anyone." Now I tell her that "I am married and I only have one person to impress." I keep my hair longer now when I used to keep it short. She likes it long.

I don't let her bait me with arguements and personal attacks. She does this sometimes when she is in a bad mood and tries to get me to react to her. 90% of the time I just agree with her and say nothing to contradict and let the arguement pass. Sometimes this is very hard to do especially when she calls me an f'ing moron, etc.

I think that this week I will come up with a new 180 to work on. I will also start reading my DR book again this week.

I think that we compete with each other a lot in our marriage. . . . who is right, who is wrong, who said what, etc. . . . .My next 180 will be to not compete with her but to try to complement her.

Also, maybe I am being too loving and accessible right now. Should I stop the affection, trying to sit next to her, saying ILY, etc? I think I should. . . .definitely a form of pursuit.

What are some of the "tricks" that you have used to get the OM out of your thoughts. He pops into my thoughts at the weirdest times and starts to ruin my day.

I need to keep journaling here. I haven't done it in a while and I forgot how it liberates me some and also helps me come up with good ideas.

Any thoughts?

SOH

M 34 H 34 Together 8 yrs Married 7 yrs Son 2 1/2 Son 2 1/2 SD 12