Guys are quiet. They don't talk, just grunt. I don't always know what the boys mean when they grunt. They are 'bout grown now and busy trying to find a perfect woman. I miss them. I look forward to every little grunt, like it will be the last.
I am doing ok. I am looking in the mirror and asking "where were you when I needed you? Why didn't you make me a better more attentative H when she needed it the most?"
But make no mistake. I also ask "could this ever have been avoided? Why wasn't she willing to go to MC and fight for the M as hard as I wanted?"
I hear the answer "this was what was chosen for you. it is your test of faith in Him. it is to make you a better person" ... and I pray I am every day. I practice listening. I practice being still and content. I am not in the tough situation you are in. I am not faced with having to decide move my world, or not. I am blessed in many ways. I think we all are, if only we can put our life in perspective.
If we can only understand a small part of His plan, and do our best to do our part, what a life we will have. You will. You already do. Do not focus on the yet unknown, yet undecided, yet written. Focus on what you have, already enjoyed, and may yet reap. Do not limit your potential. Do not limit your happiness. Be very still if you want to live this moment. It is all we have, at this moment. What will come next is not for us to decide. We will be guided.
