out of mlc into piecing together, Need advice!!

[25yearsmlc]

Was2, BND, LL, Brun and all,

thank you all for the input. I am confused and conflicted obviously. I am also lonely and since H is 3000 miles away and OM is here, it does get harder to imagine continuing this "part time" M or whatever it is or will be....

I have much to consider and appreciate all that you wrote and will give it a lot of thought. I am not sure Was2 of your opinion or were you throwing out different questions for me to ponder? I believe that doing the morally correct thing is what leads us to happiness eventually, at least I know that I'd feel guilty if I did something I knew to be wrong and then later saw that it hurt others...and guilt puts a damper on my happiness....I just don't know God's will in this...for me. I think for H it's that he offers to return and we take it from there....

Gotta back off all the questions as you say W2, it doesn't have to be decided by noon on Wednesday and fyi all of you, there is NO WAY I am moving d17 anywhere her senior year. No matter what I do later, for the next 6 months we are here with her, supporting and encouraging her as she finishes her last laps of school with us...God I will miss her so much next fall. Pending sense of loss no matter what....damn.....

D17, for the record, has not once wallowed in self pity, nor has she once wavered in her support of me and her little sister d9. Her unrelenting patience and good humor with d9 make me want to cry....she's one of those old souls you meet now and then, but she is my daughter.... My God what a gift....and then at those moments, like right now, I realize with sorrow and pity, what H is missing and may not ever truly know....maybe not even truly know d17 as he missed much of her first 7 years, and now her last 2....tragic and costly regardless....

God help me if I ever hurt my kids like that. Guys, thanks again, you have given me a LOT to think and pray about. I just THANK you so much,
j-