Thanks J –

My H left right before my D16’s Jr year too. Grades are in the toilet. He is trying to act concerned, but you have to be around it all the time, not just here and there to really get it and look like you mean business. My D has been looking for a place for him to live that she can stay with him now and again. She misses him desperately. He won’t tell us where he lives, well he says he lives with a work friend, but I know he doesn’t live there – I assume it’s with OW from some snooping I did. Yuck - D doesn’t know about that, and I won’t tell her. Our C said it’s important not to be too sad around her, or let her find out about OW – that she already feels abandoned by him. Great.

His job thing is weird, we were all set to move last year – a big promotion for him, and he decided it wasn’t worth giving my job up, his retirement, uprooting kids, etc. Now, he gets a better offer from them, and he is good to go – see ya, bye! Looking back over the last several years, I see the depression and know that we were in for some crazy times ahead. Got to love that hind sight and all.

My C told me the same as you, you are a beautiful, vibrant woman, and won’t be alone if you choose to date. You shouldn’t fear the end of the M, just make it all about you for the first time and enjoy yourself. Easy for her to say! My H comes around a lot to “check in” on D (S20, S24) and myself, which I so look forward to, but which is keeping me from moving forward. I end up sitting around wondering where he is and if he’s coming over. His C and mine have both told him to cut me loose and move on if he doesn’t want to work on M. He said he can’t do that, “I’ve know W for 31 years and I know better how to handle this D.” Good for you buddy! Doesn’t know me as well as he thought, or he’d quit acting like an a@@!

It is nice to hear about where you are now, and that you can move on and be happy. It’s wonderful that your D is so talented, and I know you are a very proud mom! If nothing else, this MLC crap has taught us to wake up and appreciate all of the wonderful things in our lives – our children, friends, family. I think we all get a little complacent – I know I did. I know you will make the best choice for you and your family. I think I’m leaning on you giving it one more shot. You’ll always wonder “what-if” if you don’t try.

Thanks for your advice and feedback, it’s appreciated!
Lou