My D18 had a very difficult time with her Dad being gone 3000 miles away. She was always her Daddy's princess. My D18 felt abandoned and was very angry. There were so many broken promises and she went through hell. So, what did I do... I tried to fix things. I made his promises become fulfilled though me. For example, my D18 sings and is very talented. He was the one who was supposed to take her to some contests etc, so I ended up doing it. Including driving 2 hours at 2 AM to get to her to the American Idol tryouts for 2 days in a row. I am the one who did all of the College stuff for S20 so he could attend. It was me that did all of the Graduation stuff and prom stuff for both of them, he was off in lala land. I hid the fact that I was totally broke from my kids and never badmouthed him in front of them. I sold many personal items just to buy groceries and made sure the kids never went without. My MIL owes me ALOT of money and I will never see a dime of it again. When ever he played Santa I kept my mouth shut.
Yes the list could go on and on but what is the point anymore????
At this point in time, D18 and my H are doing well. They talk daily. They email and call each other and things are much better. I can not fix their relationship anymore. I am tired now. This whole MLC crap has worn me out and I no longer want to even deal with what has happened. But I can not run away from it.
I also know I will not die if H goes off the deep end and runs away. I also know that I will never put up with the things I did this time around. The thought of another man in my life does nothing for me. I just can't do the dating thing. I doubt much in this post makes sense, my head is probably filled with paint fumes, as I am redecorating right now. But I wanted you to know that I hear every single word you are saying and you have many good points.
But you are also riding the fence and you have to decide one way or the other.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
