There are lots of "mights" in your post. So let me add some more...
Your D17 might really like going off to College and if she does well she can always transfer to an Ivy League school.
By the way my S20 was accepted to 4 awesome schools, 3 in Boston, he ended up choosing a school where he felt he could "fit in" better and wouldn't have to deal with too much pressure after the horrendous ordeal he had gone through with my H leaving, etc.
He is doing very well, great grades, full scholarship and is a PS major, wanting to be an Attorney. Our children will be OK, you and your Husband laid a good foundation for them. The MLC is just a huge bump in the road but they really will be OK.
The new employment opportunity might just be really good for you. A new career, doing what you are good at I think it is worth a shot, you have nothing to lose.
You might actually enjoy Alaska, especially since you have teeth! You will be Miss Hollywood over there!! Which definately doesn't hurt the ego any!
You have been married too long to not take a chance.
You and your Husband might actually be able to have a much better marriage and your D9 will also have the opportunity to have both of her parents raising her.
I wouldn't worry about D9 and the school thing. It is more important that she has some family security. And at that age they need both parents loving her.
Again, I do believe that you and your Husband laid a good foundation for your children and as long as you maintain this everything will be OK.
The way you view your Husband right now is going to be a little skewed.
You are normal. Everything you are saying is normal.
You were betrayed, your whole life turned upside down and you had to survive on your own while your Husband was trying to figure himself out.
Yes it was selfish. Yes it was wrong. But he is your Husband and for your own happiness it might be worth a try. You love the man, he loves you.
I am by no means trying to romanticize this, but can you look at this as an adventure?
A chance to try something new, but with the hope of something better then you had before.
Now lets get down to brass tacks...
(((J))) You have every single right to be afraid. I too have fears. I think of the what if's. I wonder what is going to happen if he ever flips out again. I wonder if I am a fool at times for allowing my heart to be so willing to be broken again. I wonder if it is me who is settling for 2nd best at times. I go through a whole range of feelings. BUT I know I love my Husband. I know I have to give this marriage one last shot at success. I have to know I have done my very best. So I am letting down my guard and taking that huge leap of faith.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
