I don't disagree. My point is that if he is going to ASSUME...then he must ASSUME everything. We all must do this. Grasshopper put it to me this way in the beginning. And I will use myself as an example.....
My W tells me she has something to do on Sat. night. I ASSUME she will be with her SD (sugar daddy). Now, if I am going to ASSUME that then I must also ASSUME every other possible scenario. She is going to a movie with a friend, she is going shopping, she has a meeting to go to, she wants to go to the library.......on and on.
We can't get hung up on what they tell us....."Believe in nothing they say and only half of what they do."
I know about the sex thing. My W told me that her SD listened first and then SHE came on to him. I don't know if that is true or not and I don't really care, but I know women want that emotional attachment first.
As far as giving them credit....hmmmm.....I can't trust my W. I won't let myself do that. When I trust I put expectations on her and then those become crushed. Until my W gives me something that I can give her credit for I will try and stay detached.
Just my .02 JG! You seem to be grasping this stuff much better than I did in your amount of time here. I'm still the King of Backsliding you two!
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"
I'm in the same place Bro! Same exact place. Our minds can wander and then when we want answers it usually ends up hurting us, so why even let it wander in the first place.
Keep up the great PMA!!!
M-35 going on 15 D-8 S- 3 yrs ex-CL(w)- 30
D over one year
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams "Just Be"
Quote: How often do you take opportunities when he's reaching out to hurt him on purpose?
NEVER! OMG, I could not even stomach the thought and that is why he knows that if he needs to talk (particularly on Thurs. evenings) I am there...always.
Jazz I am on the other end of this thing so I cannot imagine why your W would be so ruthless. First, I cannot fathom being the breaker upper. My H is my love and that is why the confusion and other issues make me SO crazy. I am serious too, like crazy to the point where if another person heard what I was thinking, my room would be padded and I would get lots of good meds...
All I can advise is that you let her get it out. She will feel like crap when she realizes her mistakes. My only suggestion is to make it ok for her to be sorry so that she is more likely to do it. My H knows that I will hold no grudge over this separation should I return home. I now know it was a great learning experience for us both and I feel that he needed time to himself that he would have never gotten any other way.
Thanks guys for all your replies. I got sick today and had to go to the hospital, my MIL took me. W was there 10 min. later, she came in and came right over to me and never left my side until we parted ways when she dropped me back off at the house.
We were the for about 4 hours, they ran some test and figured that I had a sinus infection and my blood pressure was a little high. I had numbness in my face and sholder was the reason that I called MIL. W and talked and laughed a lot, she was very pleasent. When I was checking in at the hospital the lady ask me for my W's SS# and I gave it to her. She told me that I was the only guy in the 8 years she had been working there to know their W SS#. She told my MIL that she has a special SIL and MIL said that she already knew that! The lady also told my wife the same thing as we were checking out. Wife went and got me dinner and a surprise, she also paid the $100 for the emegency room copay.
I'm not going to read anything into this and just go with what happeded today. I was very happy and upbeat around her and she would not stop laughing at my comments and my jokes. She was asking about what other credit cards we had together and I told her with a smile. But I agree with you Jazz that I'm going to have to go very dark! But I did send her a TM to thank her for being with me and for the surprise. She said that "your welcome" and I'm going to leave it at that. Because she didn't have to do any of that.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
She cares about you or she would not have done that. Now you may have a long ways to go to repair and rebuild a relationship, but take heart in that she was at the hospital in 10 min. This means that deep down she cares about you and this means you have a chance. You just need to recognize that you have a long ways to go. You did the right thing by just saying thanks and leaving it at that.
Sounds like you two can be friends and that is a starting point you can build on. Remember non-demanding persistent love from someone who loves himself is hard to resist.
She cares about you or she would not have done that. Now you may have a long ways to go to repair and rebuild a relationship, but take heart in that she was at the hospital in 10 min. This means that deep down she cares about you and this means you have a chance.
I think so too, but I am going to have to go dark, very dark. But she see the changes that I have made and she made a comment about it yesterday.
You just need to recognize that you have a long ways to go. You did the right thing by just saying thanks and leaving it at that.
Thanks, I didn't want to persue or push it too far that she was there. I have to act indifferent about the D talk. I agreed with everything she said about spliting up everything and the sell of the house.
Sounds like you two can be friends and that is a starting point you can build on. Remember non-demanding persistent love from someone who loves himself is hard to resist.
Friends is the only thing that I can hope for right now. I just miss my girl so much!
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
Sorry about your visit to the hospital but sometimes these things happen and although they suck, cause a great positive! No news is good news and we have to remember that sometimes our spouses want to call but hesitate and then decide against it. So although we may feel alone and like they are out doing their own thing, we are in their thoughts...
How are you doing by the way? Sounds like a nasty bug caught you and then took over your blood pressure... sending positive (and healthy) vibes to ya ~~~~~~~
Quote: Sorry about your visit to the hospital but sometimes these things happen and although they suck, cause a great positive! No news is good news and we have to remember that sometimes our spouses want to call but hesitate and then decide against it. So although we may feel alone and like they are out doing their own thing, we are in their thoughts...
How are you doing by the way? Sounds like a nasty bug caught you and then took over your blood pressure... sending positive (and healthy) vibes to ya ~~~~~~~
S4N,
Thanks for the concern, I'm doing better now. But my sinuses are still draining and I am a little congested. Not too bad, I'm going to leave work and go home and get some rest.
I do think that these things happen for a reason, because the night before I was at her APT and she was beating the war drum of D and pissed that I was there. I know that she wants to call and check in on me, she won't she a Tarus. But that's ok, I saw enough to know that she still cares and that lets me know that I still have a chance, even though it's a slim one but it's there.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
