ShesGreat New Thread

[ShesGreat]

1. I would not waste time mentioning the meeting with Lori's XH. Your interactions with your W are important and should not be weighted down by the drama other people may create. Take the info. given and use it to understand your W's statements about cheating, that's all it is useful for anyway. If it extends beyond information then it is just gossip and once that is involved, things never end well.

Ok, thanks I'll just keep that to myself.

2. Defending yourself is just fine. When you feel like you are being attacked with false accusations, it is only natural to plead your case. Perhaps she was testing the waters and looking for some hints in your response (we women do that!). Your denial text was sufficient, nicely worded as a matter of fact. Let it be with that and continue your DBing. Her calling you after just shows she was intrigued and be please with the fact that you got her to start a dialogue...always a plus

Thanks, that's what I needed to hear and coming from a woman makes it extra special! I won't contact her again or bring this up until W wants to talk about it.

[ShesGreat]

WAW just call to tell me that she was working late and was wondering what I was doing?! I was telling her that I have to spend some extra money to ship an ebay item overnight because I forgot to ship it last week. She told me that it would be ok. She was tell me about the details for Friday and she was starting to stress because she not getting anything done. I told her not to worry and that everything would be ok and I told her that I had to go.

This id getting interesting, patience and baby steps.

[ShesGreat]

I feel I have to tell W I know why she accused me of cheating and I know about her friend. (Feeling are not right or wrong they just are right?)

Ok today is the day that we are going to leave for our Christmas trip. So we'll how everything goes, she suppose to be at the house around 2p for the ride to the airport.

Wish me luck for the next 7 day and I'm not sure how much I will be able to get on. You guys try to have a Merry Christmas and try to keep a PMA!

[ShesGreat]

Sorry for the long read guys, but this is to catch you up.

Friday 12/22
WAW gets to the house about 3 pm and we exchanged pleasantries, she comes in and get her gloves and some chips out of the pantry. We didn’t talk a about anything serious on the way to the airport. W ask why are you so happy? I tell her that life is great and this is going to be a great Christmas! We get to the terminal and my phone rung, I stepped away to take the call. (I told my friend to call at a certain time) I was LOL in the airport and doing a lot of smiling, W didn’t like that and I know that she wanted to ask who I was talking to, but didn’t. She noticed my PMA and said it funny that you are so happy? We get on the plane and I made sure she was comfortable and did she need anything? She said “she was fine and ask me why am I being so nice to her, you didn’t use to do that.” I told her that this is who I am now, thinking about other people first. She said that I was up to something. The beginning of the flight she made a comment trying to drag me into a fight, (her friends said it was not a good idea if I went with her to NY/CT) I was not going to go there. But I just can’t understand that if someone is not happy they don’t want to see others happy! We land go to her sister’s house in New York and got some sleep, I slept on the sofa and W slept in the bed with SIL.

Saturday 12/23
SIL had to go to work early that morning and would get home about 3:30p and we would drive to SIL house in Connecticut. W and I went to breakfast and had a real nice conversation, no R talk yet. I got a chance to show the new me. I was a little flirtatious with the waitress by making her laugh with some funny comments and W was laughing and smiling also. She said I don’t remember you being this funny. I was talking to the people next to me and made sure she had everything that she needed, PMA. W started to talk about R and I told her that this separation was just what we needed and it made me discover who I was again and to change some things that I needed to work on. We got ready to leave and our waitress came over to the register and told us to have a wonderful day and a Merry Christmas. We left the restaurant laughing, talking and having a very good time, all smiles. We went for a walk a after breakfast and got back to SIL apartment and we continued talking and laughing. Drove to Connecticut, I slept on the way. Got to other SIL house about 7pm and greeted everyone, had a good time playing with the kids. W ask me did I get her anything for Christmas, I told her no, she said that was ok. W and I slept n the same bed, first time in 3 ½ months! She told me not to try anything and I said that I don’t want you (with a smile). W slept close to me with her knees in my back just like old times.

Sunday 12/24 and Monday Christmas Day
Nothing exciting in the early part of the day, I ask SIL NY did she get everything W wanted and she told me that she did not get her the perfume that she wanted. So I eased out and went to the mall and got W the perfume that she wanted. BIL’s family came over and we had a big dinner. Some interesting things happed at dinner.

I was acting so silly and being funny, I had everyone laughing. W make a comment to me that I am being fake, I just looked her and kept on laughing! BIL’s brother was finishing his soup and turned up the bowl and slurped his soup in front of everyone. No one said nothing to him and his wife was sitting next to and didn’t even look his direction?! In my mind I said WOW, If that was me, W and her family would have went crazy!

I went out side a few minutes after that and W followed shortly after and said I was looking for you. I said why? She said that she wanted to apologize for what she had said and I accepted. I told her that I was just being myself and she said you just seem so bubbly, and she haven’t seen me like that for a long time. I told her that life is too short to be unhappy. I ask her did she see BIL’s brother and she said yes, I told her that I could not have done that, her family would have went crazy. But his family loves him unconditionally and they didn’t say anything. I also said that I understand what unconditional love is by seeing that and she said that she understood what I was saying and understand how I feel. I told her I know that God loves me no matter what and I get it!

So about an hour later she was in the bathroom throwing up all over the place, it was so loud that the whole house heard. I went in the bathroom with her and was wiping her mouth and holding her hair back out of the way. I stayed with her the whole time (1 ½) I picked her up so she could use the pot and helped back down onto the floor. I laid down with her on the floor with her and made her as comfortable as I could. (That was a big problem in our R and she use to complain that I didn’t take of her when she was sick, guess I showed her a new side of me! 180) SIL CT came in periodically to check on her, she was the host of the party and it was hard on her. So about 1:30 in the morning we had to take her to the Hospital, W wanted me to hold her on the way there and I did. She got admitted for a few hours. They gave her an IV and a shot of something. When we left a 5:30 Christmas morning, she wanted me to hold on the way back to SIL’s house and I did. I got her to bed (same bed) and every time she would cough I would get up and ask if she was ok? This was also a problem before in our R, that I would sleep like a log and never got up when was sick. That was another big 180 for me. We slept all day Christmas and I was at her beckon call, anything she wanted I got for her. (I understand that love is putting the well being of someone before your own.) W thanked me for taking care of her and I told that I was suppose to and I understand now!

Tuesday 12/26
This was the first day that she was out of bed for more that an hour, we smiled at each other a lot. W was being really nice, I was still being my bubbly self a man on a mission with my PMA! Everyone was making comments about the new me, I was helping with cleaning the house, helping with dinner, taking the trash out and anything that I could do to help anyone at the house.

Wednesday 12/27
Didn’t do too much, just hung out and played with the kids, talked with the family.

Thursday 12/28
About the same, BIL and I took kids to the mall. Drove back to NY for the flight the next day.

Friday 12/29
Wake up go to the airport and W makes another crazy comment to get me into an argument, I just walked away and went to get some breakfast, we didn’t board the plane together. She gets on the plane and come to her seat and apologize to me for her comment, I told her that it was ok. She slept on my shoulder when she was sleeping and when she was awake she was looking and smiling at me! We land get our luggage and drive back to the house. On the way back to the house she was not smiling as much, she looked kind of sad. I never asked her what was wrong, I just kept smiling. We got to the house and I got her bags out and she said it wasn’t so bad, huh? I said no, gave her a hug and she was on her way.

So after seeing WAW everyday for 7 days, yesterday was hard, but I’m doing better today. I sent her a TM to tell her that she left a strap to her suit case in my car.

[ShesGreat]

Happy New Year!

I made a mistake this morning and called WAW, I just wanted to talk to her. I called her 7 times before she answered, she said that she was busy and I can't call her that many times and that she would call me back.

What an idiot! I can’t believe that I keep doing this crap!!
I won't be surprised if she never talks to me again.

[ShesGreat]

Talked with W today and she's still holding to things from the past before we got married. She was also telling me that I can talk a good game and she didn't believe what I was saying to her. She saw my changes when we were together for a week and called me fake! What the hell do I do now!? I am so lost and confused!

[ShesGreat]

I'm hurting bad for some reason now.

[ShesGreat]

One thing I forgot to say:

W keeps telling me that I'm talking like a text book and I tell her that this stull is coming from the heart. This is the new me and I'm learning to express my feelings. Why doesn't she give me credit for reading books to learn more about relationships and the differences between men and women? Tough girl, damned if I do, damned if I don't!

[kidsaver]

ShesGreat

I heard the same thing from my WAW. Eventually, she ackowledged the changes were permanent but it took a long time. She would always say you should have done it sooner before she walked away or it took me leaving for you to do it. It takes some time before they believe it is real.

kidsaver

[ShesGreat]

ShesGreat

I heard the same thing from my WAW. Eventually, she ackowledged the changes were permanent but it took a long time. She would always say you should have done it sooner before she walked away or it took me leaving for you to do it. It takes some time before they believe it is real.

kidsaver

KS, thanks for checking in on me.

I was telling W today that I'm glad that she left because that gave me the time and opportunity to become a better person. I was getting better when she was here but not as fast as I could have. I told her that me becoming a better person and a better man is at an accelerated rate now that she’s gone because I have time alone to work on myself. I also told her that I was not gong to give my hard work and hard earned changes to someone else. The most important thing is that she’s seeing the changes and I know that she’s a little confused right now, so I have to make them stick and be lasting changes.

I also told her that it was hard taking care of a 2600 sq. ft. house by myself and that I need to give this up and leave the house because it’s too much for me to handle alone. ( I was being whiney and playing the poor me) After this I told her that God would not give me more than I can handle and I enjoy taking care of home!