I guess my advice would be to dial back the e-mail a bit and make it less of an if/then kind of thing. You can require reconciliation or moving back in and perhaps she'll agree to get what she wants...but it probably won't last (or she'll resent you forcing her hand).
Instead, I'd just say that given the circumstances and the unknown nature of your collective future, that substantial investments or expenditures would be unwise.
On an unrelated topic, I don't know what's available in your state, but you might see if you can do a legal separation instead of a divorce. If you're itching to do something (and I'm not suggesting you should) and want to protect yourself financially, then separation is a way of doing that without "going all the way".
This would protect you and they can generally be "turned into" a divorce at a later date by either party. This would give you some wiggle room in that you could act while still placing the burden of actually requesting the divorce on your WAW. Just a thought.
