You once and for all finally get that this IS NOT ABOUT HER, OR WHAT SHE'S DOING OR NOT.
Really, it's like a switch you have to throw but when you do, you'll go from rare moments of sanity and self control to rare moments of paranoia.
As long as you see her actions/affair as the primary issue here, you'll not be able to handle this without a certain level of stress. Sure, easier said than done, but it's also true.
Really, what are you thinking about that you need to stop? You're thinking about the "what if's" and what if you're just wrong, dead wrong? That thought, along with the idea of it not being about the affair should give you reasonable doubt that your paranoia is no good.
