Just getting started piecing it back

[jersting]

Ok Gh, I understand that was very long winded but I felt like I needed to tell alot so I could get alot from you and you left me wondering a bit. My next post I will shorten up to what I think is important. Hopefully it will be the right important stuff.

"dis"

?

[toughlover]

Hey, sounds like you had a good night. Congrats!

[grasshopper]

Um..."dis"=disrecpect.

No problem. I would respond with my own long-winded post but I am short on time today. Like TL said, it sounds like you had a really good night. Keep it rolling!

Oh, and BTW, don't be afraid to post long winded posts if for no other reason than to journal this experience. It helps.

GH

[cat03]

Did we just eat and then go to sleep for the night? Was that all I was waiting for all these months?

When she asked for the money did she make it sound like a loan or as an advance of what you usually have to pay her? You could either a) make the 100$ be part of your weekly court payments 2) be nice just this once and not ask her to pay you back.

As for what she might think after (if there is a) D, dont' rack your brain thinking about it, if it gets to that things will be different yet, and it will be up to you if you want to enable her after she Ds you.

[Tiara Boy (CM)]

Jersting,

I haven't caught up with you for a long time but, Ian tells me about you. I want you to know that the part about you holding hands with your wife brought tears to my eyes. I am at work and it was hard for me to hold back.

Things seem to being going rather nicely for you. Keep it up.

As far as finances go, I have similar issues. My W knows where I stand on what I will help with and what I won't help with. I believe some boundaries need to be set on what you will give her besides the $100 you are required to give. It really is entirely up to you, b/c only you know how the finances have worked between you two in the past. I just hope you don't get walked on.

Keep it up Senor!!

[jersting]

When she asked for the money did she make it sound like a loan or as an advance of what you usually have to pay her?

As an advance of what I have to pay her. But definitly added that she needed more without coming out and asking for it.

You could either a) make the 100$ be part of your weekly court payments 2) be nice just this once and not ask her to pay you back.

no disrespect intended but I realize these are my 2 options. I want to know what would be the best way to handle this. 1 let her do it on her own to see if she can handle things like this without me? or 2 help her more than she is asking me to so I can show her I am here for her?

[jersting]

GH,

No problem. I would respond with my own long-winded post but I am short on time today. Like TL said, it sounds like you had a really good night. Keep it rolling!

I read this post and then re-read your earlier post and now I understand it better. I thought you were telling me that I was wasteing your time. I appreciate anything you can take the time to share with me and I don't expect you to take more time than you have. I know sometimes when you read written words and you cannot put an expression with the words they can be confuseing sometimes. This is why I try to refrain from too much e-mail with my W. Thank you for checking in on me today.

[S_O_T_S]

Hi jersting. I'll quote in bold.

She agreed and the R talk was ended by me asking her for a kiss. I was expecting a peck and I got a open mouth lip lock. (wow it was great and she walked away with a "whew that was nice"). WOW.

When I saw your post, I had the same reaction as gh initially.

But after thinking about it, this thought came into my head.

jersting just got a small (OK pretty big) positive response from his W.

Is there anything he can identify as a behavioral/attitude change that he made that may have contributed to this response and, if so, what is he going to do in the future to keep that change going?

That was all I had. Keep up the good work, my friend. I'm happy for you.

Take care,

[sofaraway]

Well well well, I keep hearing that god awful song in my head,

"Oh what a night, late december back in 63, what a very special time for me, what a lady what a night"

Good for you man, you handled yourself so well Jerst, that was awesome that you even asked her if you could hold her hand, how great. Then the smooch, you are a wild man.... Keep it up dude.

Now as far as the money goes, no idea what to tell you here, do whatever makes you the most comfortable. Ya'll are trying to put it back together so set your boundaries now my friend so there are no surprises down the road.

Ian

[jersting]

I gave her the check for 100 and I have not paid the banker out of my pocket, I could still take the 100 from the savings to pay him but I'm not sure if I should or not.