that there may be a sense from your W that you don't respect her.




...WOW, let me just say that if you have GH giving you advice and from the long post he put on your thread he is helping you alot.He is a very wise man and you need to really take a hard look at your behavior and change,, and by change I do not mean change half heartedly or yeah geez b/c I have to for her to come back really , really change.

take a hard look at yourself and stop feeling so righteous and change,, she wil feel like you are really only doing this to win eher back( my H accused me of acting and then I told him well I should go to Hollywood) but they are genuinely hurt and even if you do not see it from her point of view everyting she is feeling to her is valid. And no you can not fix it for her she needs to feel stronger on her own but you by changing an help her to see that this does really affect you and matter to you, You need to do some real soul searching and be strong and stable and not feel sorry for yourself.

She feels lost right now and if you add to it she will seek help elsewhere. My first H used to treat me like a child and not be there for me,, and then be condescending like he was doing me a d*mn favor.

When she doesn't answer the phon eshe is feeling x, y or z and you can not know and the nshe turns of her phone cause you are not gigving her what she needs and then you say weel you really do not like me or whatever. If she really had no leftover feelings for you she would not even give you the time of day,

when I knew I was done with me XH I knew that I had no reason to speak to him and when I was feeling like maybe just maybe a tiny prat of me was bein gto hard on him and I should give him a snowballs chance in H*LL to prove himself low and behold more of the same behavior.

Have you read the DR and DB books if not then I suggest you go get them right now and a highlighter and put yourself under a MAGNIFYING GLASS AND CHANGE. Do alot of 180s and I mean alot of them and examine yourself and let go of all the behavior that gets yo nowhere.

This board is for YOU to grow andfor you to get better as a HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!

...it is not meant for you to find ways to manipulate your way back into her heart.

She needs to see real change and real RESPECT and real unconditional love for her to let armor down,,,,

I dunno much about your sitch but I took this time to post to you and I do not do it often b/c I feel it is hard for me to give real good advice but I am making my kids wait to go the YMCA to post to you,, I felt a strong urge to help you,,, I told my 4 kids to just give me 15 minutes I feel this strongly,, maybe you have a chance but you really need to stop what is not working,, if you got Gh in a mood to give a 4x4 then I tink you need to really work harder on this. You ahve all the time in the world ti be divorced like I was once told but you only have one chance to really save your m arriage and after that what?

I will find my past posts from a very smart lady tha blessed me with her knowledge and I will post them to you later tonite,, when I get back from swimming with my kids.
I hop ethat you can dave yourself and you rm I really do and you are being given 2x4s b/c it is viable to really change and do something.
I was pretty much praying for a Miracle to save my M and thanks be to GOD ,, I am currently piecing and it is a blessing along with hard work I would not trade for anything,, I had to fall flat on my face in order to really see where I was failing and I was failing him miserably,,,,,


Your Wife left for a reason and you need to be strong and change for you to beth ereason that she sees ,, maybe I acn trust him, maybe he CAN love me like I need and maybe just maybe I can trust him with my heart once more..

Like I said my XH ruined any chances of me being with him b/c he was justified in his behavior and he rescued me in his eyes when I di dnot need rescuing I needed somein to tlove me and respect me an treat m elike an equal with compassion and love.

I needed to be loved for me plain and simple to be loved for who I was and not to be treated as is he was doing me some sort of favor. I needed to be chosen b/c of my beauty not b/c he felt like he needed to take care of me.
I neede to know I coul dbe me and grow and he woul dbe there to support me and be by my side not like he was my father and then i somehow owed him something for his help.

I will read more of your sitch later but you sound like oyu are goingg at thi slike my XH was and you wil fail if you do not stop.

I am not trying to be mean but I feel like you need to hear a Womans perspective we need to feel wanted and respected not treated like a child.

You are probably doing all that you do out of love but if it is not making her feel loved then you need to change something within you.. Sorry to be so hard on you sweetie but you are probably a great Man underneath all the confusion,, this will not be easy but if you are prepared to work hard you can accomplish anything,, I will check on you later.
God bless...