If you change something but it can't stand the "light of her being" then it's not really changed at all.
What I mean is that if you make a certain change, even a small one like being happy today, and it flies right out the window when she calls or you suspect OM is around, then it's no change at all, it's just another desperate attempt at controlling the situation with your actions.
That's what Sven and I am saying. If you are doing these things for YOU and NOT FOR HER, you WILL see your life getting better no matter what she does or doesn't do.
I may help to remind you that I, and others around here, have said on more than one occasion that I would NOT TAKE THE LAST YEAR BACK EVEN IF I COULD.
As Sven said, I too learned SO much about myself, my W and life in general through all this, I would NEVER choose to go back and avoid the almost unbearable pain if it meant not know all this stuff. That said, if I could avoid the pain AND have grown, well that's another story. In my opinion, without the pain, I would certainly NOT have gained.
Oh, and I said that LONG before my sitch was close to "worked out" so that's not the "happy" talking.
