Just read this thread and I hope you've read it several times. GH and others have given you a great deal of wisdom that I'm going to venture a guess that you only absorbed a part of it.
Obviously when we are in such a tough emotional state we have a really hard time thinking straight. It kicks in some biological responses that quite simply deprive our brain of blood flow. I've found that my own intelligence level feels like it's been at about half capacity for the last two years. It was literally a constant thing as if being in a fight or flight circumstance every minute of every day.
I don't know how consistent this is with everyone in this sitch but I would venture to guess that everyone, including the WAS, experiences this.
When we are in this state we very often look right past the solutions because we are clutching at what we feel should be solutions.
The solutions are in GH's post. Read them over and over.
If I can add only one more thing. Consider DB your secret weapon. There is no reason to discuss DB tactics with your wife. There is reason not to. Just do it, don't talk about it. They are for you.
