Just getting started piecing it back

[jersting]

I posted yesterday and as you can see, things seemed to be going in the right direction. As soon as I got off work, she called me. We talked about D10 taking off school on thursday to go with friends family shoping. I told her that I did not really want her to go but the final decision was up to w. She said ok, I have to go and I will call later and I said ok. I waited until just before she goes to bed and I called and asked if she did not want to talk to me or if she was waiting for me to call. She said she was waiting for me to call. Then she said she didn't know if she was ready to work on this. she said it shouldn't be this hard for us to get together and it must not be right. She thinks we went at it too much too fast. She was sad, mad, hurt and tired of fighting. She said that she didn't think that I was trying either and that maybe we should not be together. She said she loved me and knew that but she just didn't know if she wanted to work on this right now. I asked if she was going to go ahead with the divorce and she said she could put it on hold if she wanted to. She asked if I was allright and I said yes, I am ok. I am not happy about this but i am ok. I said I didn't want to talk any more and I had to go. I went to house late last night and woke her up to talk to me. She asked why I was there so late. I replied because our marriage is hanging by a string. I asked why she was pushing me away and she said she didn't know. She said I screwed up the night she came and told me she wanted us to stay together, she said I should not have let her leave. (i tried to stop her, but she said we would get together later). I asked if she wanted me to walk away from her and she said she didn't know. I hugged her before I left and told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that I would love her forever, but I can't stay in this sitch any longer. I turned and walked out. I think I heard her sob a little as I was walking away. I have full intentions of walking away from her now and see if she trys to stop me. If she does not try to stop me I will know that she does really want the divorce.