Just getting started piecing it back

[cat03]

hi, you are right, she does have some kind of issues that only she can figure out, she sort of knows what she wants but is second guessing herself.
How about marital counceling together so she doesn't feel singled out? My H had loads of issues but the only way he'd see a C was if we went together to a MC.

You are right at being cautios, she isn't quite well, she is on her way to rock bottom or maybe struggling there. Don't rush her nor rush to make any other decisions, play it by ear and don't push it (e.i: asking to cuddle, etc) she is trying to find her way back to you but is afraid still, dont' blow it by asking for too much.

but I don't want to love someone who does not love me.

Well, when I took my H back I knew his feelings were not all there for me, he pretty much told me "I dont' hate you but I dont'...either". It was a hard thing to take but I accepted that, he was broken and did come home empty and not able to give me much, it was all up to me if I wanted him back like that.

I could've very well said "well, you still have many issues, come back when you are all fixed" He came back to try to build our M again, for months he wasn't quite himself and even though he was the one who had the A and hurted me I got no reassurances nor had him try to make me feel better.

I had to accepted him as he was, all he had was a desire to commint to our M again, and at the first session w/our MC our C told us that feelings (love) come and go, but the one things that keeps an M together after many years is commitment.

She is actually is able to say she loves you! I have not heard those words from my H and he's been home w/me for a few months already, although his actions do tell me he cares for me and that we are connecting again I still yearn to hear ILY.

Don't push her, she is trying to make her mind up, give her time, I know it is maddening, but remember, she is not on the same pg as you. The affection and the rest will come later, right now focus on trying to connect w/her again.