Hopefully I can get your attention because I have a question for you that I know you can help answer or at least add some knowledge on.
You may be familiar with my story, but if not, I'll give you a short description of what happened and where my waw and I are now.
About 15/16 months ago, my W started visiting/talking/writing her ex-fiance who's been in prison for the last 15 years on 2nd degree murder charges. I didn't know this at that time, but sensed the distance between us. I found out after being separated from her for about 3 or 4 months. He shot a Man in a heated argument in the parking lot of a bar. He was engaged to be married to my now W. I rejoined my W 5 years after that incident and we started to date. I say "rejoined", because we were very close friends in HS, but not lovers and I've known her since she was 16 years old. I had not seen her for about 10 years prior to us dating and at that time she was dating this man so our encounters were very casual. She insisted during our dating phase that she was "over" him and that she was very much in love with me. We did have a loving courtship and M up until 15/16 months ago. However, I realize I didn't pay as much attention to her as I should have and took her for granted at times.
Fast forward 15 years later and this OM is up for parole. W says she is not happy with me, loves me, but not in love, etc, etc. She starts an EA with this man. His Family members intervened in our marriage and reconnect her with him in prison. She insist they are an upstanding Christian family (yeah, OK!). I move out and this OM is denied parole and is not back up for it until 11/07. He got 15 years to life. W was devastated at the time, but seems in limbo now. Now W says she is confused, but still doesn't have intimate feelings for me but does still care for me. I'm Ok with where we are now, because I've been at it so long. We're pretty detached from each other for the most part, but are cordial and polite to one another. Occasionally She still has problems with her anger, not just towards me, but to situations that come up in her life (job, her family, our S6, etc) but I've learned when and how to stay clear of that.
My question to you is do you believe this EA could be stronger than your typical MLC A or any other A in general? Granted, I've been married to her 8 years, together 10 and have known her about 27 years.
I can't get a true reading of her commitment to him and I wouldn't dare question her, She'd lie anyway, but do you think her relationship could last indefinitely with him whether he gets out anytime soon or not?
I know my situation is bizarre to say the least, but there is no closure from her end and I'm starting to feel I'm putting my own closure to it. Even so, these question still burns in my mind and I hope you can add some insight from your personal experience.
M - 45 W - 44 S6 & SS13 Separated 12/05, emotionally detached for about 15/16 months.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
