Some PMA boost here....you are doing great. You ARE doing the right things and that is why you feel weird or sad or depressed. Things are rolling along good with you and H. Thing is....you do need to get back to what was working....things that gave you the "I don't give a sh!t" attitude that made things easier....that made you NOT think about H.
The talking part and speaking the right words...this is an everyday thing and will only change when the situation is in the green again...the walking on eggshells and being patient......YOU decide when to end that crap.
Your line about communicating expectations.....forget it...the line said it all....DO NOT EXPECT.....you can have firm plans if that is what you meant but don't try to "communicate" to each other something that could be misconstrude as an expectation....only a let down for you...not him.
Keep giving him space...find YOURSELF again and things will start to fall back in place again....just looks like a little backsliding but is an easy fix with patience...just get that "I don't give a sh!t" attitude....you know what I mean.
