I / we had a pretty good overnight at his parents, I honestly can say I enjoyed myself and I told him that. Didn't feel the need to debrief on the way home and held my tongue when I was going to comment about one of the ism's his mom has about driving.
This morning in the shower it came to me, I am trying to work the situtation, I am worried that I need to say the right thing, and do the right thing all the time, I need to give it up, like when he was "going" and gone. I need to focus on what I have control over, my feelings. I don't have control over who he talks to or who he needs to talk to so why worry about it. I can only be accepting and there when he needs me, and I still need to give space and be supportive, be loving and most of all accepting and not judgemental. Again this is easier to think than act, but the thinking is the first part. I just need to keep reminding myself.
Another thing I have gotton lax about is the PMA about myself. I am worth it, and I do deserve it, and I can do it. I have forgotton to remind myself of that lately.
I really appreciate the help and support of those who have been through this. I am learning so much from you all.
Me 41 H 42 DD 11 DS 8 M 18 bomb 8/3/06 separating 9/18/08
