He is most likely very scared of where he's found himself, where he's put himself and has seen he's screwed up.. and doesn't want to screw up again. That is the fear that keeps many men from coming back, before my H came back he'd say the same thing, but I always reasured him that our goal was a good one, that working together to make our M strong again would only lead to better things, that it would take time but that it would all be worth it.
You dont' have to be distant and nothing wrong w/hugging him now and then, darn it, it is so hard to be without them and it is only natural you want to do this, as long as you don't coil yourself on him all the time physical demonstrations are ok.
Dating sounds great, my H's therapist suggested that, to get to know each other better you begin at being friends again, to get back to what brought you together in the first place.
It's not all on you, so don't be afraid that things will go wrong if you dont' do such and such, be forgiving, over all keep being patient and know that sometimes you'll go back 2steps for every step forward, but it's normal and OK.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
