VDM - staying positive

[BluePoet]

Right. Well and that's another reason why, when a marriage breaks up, it's important to not let yourself get bulldozed into giving up more than you should. I could see, if I let STBX put me back into the apartment or home rental market, I'd have to contend with yearly raises and etc. After 15+ years of owning our own house, that would be traumatic and make it harder for me to not be bitter. So I won't allow it -- I know at this point most judges would make him let me stay in the house as long as I want to, so I've made it a point to stay until I find someplace else decent I can own, even if it's a condo. I know that is one thing I need to stand up for - purely for mental health's sake and it is also something he owes me.

So that's another point to bitterness - because aside from losing (no matter how temporarily) the R, we can't let them disrupt or shortchange our own lives either. It's easier to "let go" and move on or DB if we make sure we have what we are entitled to -- being firm but nice.

BluePoet