Just found out my H is having an affair

[cat03]

I feel almost embarrased to have to read something like that

Honey, I felt bad checking out Divorce Remedy at the library, but I'm so glad I did, I never believed in C and after my H left and had the A I practically run to the C's office and regretted not going earlier.

cause mommy cant stop crying.

I know it hurts lots, and I've cried a few times in front of my son, but please don't do it anymore in front of him, you are his sun and he sees you in this state he'll feel there is nothing secure for him anymore. Do cry and and let it out, but away from him.

OW accused me of being a bad wife and basically told me that I dont know anything about his troubles. Perhaps she's right.

And perhaps she is FULL OF IT. Of course she thinks she really knows him, a few talks here and there without the responsibility of kids and a household to maintain she feels she is better than you, she is a low life and don't you forget it.

Your H seeked her out of desperation, he married you out of love, remember that. She was meant to be a bandaid, you were ment to be his wife for as long and you both shall live.

The anger will be there and sometimes if feels like it will never go away, but it will, I promise, it will take months, but it can be done, you need to forgive him so you can release him and YOU from that burden.

Here is an excellent article about As:

Emotionally Retarded Men in Love

About the only people more dangerous than philandering men going through life with an open fly and romantic damsels going through life in perennial distress, are emotionally retarded men in love. When such men go through a difficult transition in life, they hunker down and ignore all emotions. Their brain chemistry gets depressed, but they don't know how to feel it as depression. Their loved ones try to kee from bothering them, try to keep things calm and serene - and isolate them further

An emotionally retarded man may go for a time without feeling pleasure, pain, or anything else, untd a strange woman jerks him back into awareness of something intense enough for him to feel it - perhaps sexual fireworks, or the boyish heroics of rescuing hff, or perhaps just fascination with her constantly changing moods and never-ending emotional crises.

With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn't know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn't work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.

What he needs is not a crazier woman to sacrifice his life for, but treatment for his depression. However, since the best home remedies for depression are sex, exercise, joy, and triumph, the dangerous damsel may be providing one or more of them in a big enough dose to make him feel a lot better. He may feel pretty good until he gets the bill, and sees how much of his life and the lives of his loved ones this treatment is costing.