Thank you all for being here for me, I really do feel so blessed. And you know I am going to have a very Merry Christmas my H and my little boy will be far away I will miss them terribly , but I will make o my best to be Happy.I am already playing Christmas music,, I LOVE to listen to Christmas music , when I was little my Mother was not into the Christmas Spirit and when I would visit my childood friend her Mom would always have on Christmas music and it felt so nice to be at their house,, all my kids enjoy listening to Christmas Music also.I just bought the Sarah Mclachlan Christmas cd at Starbucks,,, I am going to have a very, very, Merry Christmas and I will be 36 this year and I have gone thru soo much this year that when Christmas comes to remind me of my blessings even more . I will remember all that I am and all that I can still become and I will thank God for everything.
I hope to be able to be a much better Human Being in 2007. I feel very proud of who I have become, of allowing myself to be happy, of allowing myself to use the voice that for so long I kept quiet.I am proud of me,,,
I also need to once again say thank you to you all here for being so supportive it really does mean so much to me.
For a long time like I have said before I was waiting for my h to change and evreything I did was justified ( screaming , being angry, crying and just plain after while shutting down and being a shell of who I really am)cause he was being this way or that way and now I know I was completely wrong and I Thank God for giving me a second chance to live beside the man I really do love and want to grow old with,, no I do not need him to live but having him by my side is such a blessing even thru all the ups and downs he owns my heart and I love him and have learned so much. I am not Thankful for the Suffering but I see now that I needed to fal flat on my face and he needed to do the same to see that what we have is truly amazing and worth every bit of pain and fighting for until the day we are no longer here. Love is such a gift and I have chosen to take the High road and not be vendictive or angry and it feels so good to live like this. I do still get sad occasionally but I need to work on that a little more,, last nite when MY H arrived we talked alot and I told him that you know how it is important for you for me to "show" you ILY for me it is just as important to hear the words of how you feel about me and while we were talking he just stared at me , smiled and said ILY Alixx and wow! that was really super awesome... We are learning so much more @ eachother than we have in a very long time for that I am also extremely Thankful,,,
