This was one of the first questions that came up when I first discovered my W's EA.
The first board I found was marriagebuilders where they recommend exposing everything to everyone with the reasoning that A's thrive in the shadows of secrecy. Then I found these board where the BS is encouraged (in a way) to let the A run its full course and let the A die the natural way.
I have kind of employed the both suggestions because I did not know about this forum before I told my BIL about W's A. The whole thing kind of exploded in my W's face because the OM was a jealous bastard... oops did I say that out loud. He was jealous of all the male acquaintances of my W. OM went as far as emailing W's male friends to ask if they were banging her. Well, anyways, that's not the point of my post anyway... like the previous posters, it is a roll of the dice. Your mileage may vary depending on what course you take.
