Okay, now this is hopefully where you can handle your R/M better than what I did. Use the DR book & this mesage board to help you, & vent here, not at W. Gosh, still wish I knew then what I know now...
Once the A was exposed, I was unable to move past it & let it drop. All I did was focus on the hurt, not realizing I was creating more turmoil & we were spiraling down. I suggest to back off & give her space, no more pushing or exposing.
I got the same speech in August you received, as H asked for his own space & time to sort things out for himself.
You can only change yourself and YOU CAN.
Imagine a balancing scale, where you are on one side & W the other. What ever you change on your side WILL affect her. Just make d@mn sure you are changing for the positive & that it is sincere.
As I am learning, this MLC span takes years. I've lived the past 3yrs in h@ll & pray it will end soon.
BUT, we CAN NOT fight the battle for them.
We can only "hold the line," by standing for our M.
BTW, when does your W leave for London?
MariS
"Going for the Gold & not the Booby prize"
Become the change you want to see.....
Me - 37 WAH - 35 child - 2yrs Separated - August '06 Married - 10yrs, Together 18 Not feeling WAH's internal struggle - Feb '08
